Bring the lights up, Bust the doors down

So I think I have an obsession with Bod Mod (Body Modification). Every paycheck I get is immediately followed with sketches of the tattoos I want. I desperately want some new surface piercings but I can't think of a placement that isn't completely... scandalous. Right now I'm thinking vertical lines on either side of my neck. However, I am not completely sure this is safe or even possible considering the amount of crucial veins, arteries and other such nonsense located in one's neck. Whatever, It doesn't hurt to ask,

RIGHT?!

I've been sitting in this library for a good 5 hours now. I started out doing homework but then I had the urge to electronically creep on a friend which turned into me admiring his tats and wanting better ones of my own. Went online and found some crazy/ beautiful pieces. These really stood out, but not all necessarily for me.

This dudes arm was bitten off by a shark and this tat just shows off how bad-ass he is. This artist is a genius and I applaud his gift. Sorry I just looked up in the library and this is this whole little Black History Month shelf and a Beyonce book is right in my face. ...Awkward. Anyways kids, back to the show.

I want something like this. Something mystical. Something intricate. The only thing I'm unsure of is whether or not I want color. Right now I'm leaning towards yes but I'm not to sure how good some colors will look with my particular shade seeings as how I am what some would call "yellow boned".

There were more, but I seem to be experiencing some technical difficulities at this time. I'll try again later. Until next time.

Peace, Love and self Expression my darlings!

xoxo

Starshine

Hold me down, and i'll carry you home

Making a sleep playlist and I realized how long it's been since I told you what I've been up to musically. Well... I don't mean in terms of me MAKING music, because trust me, no one wants to hear that. Simply put, what I am listening to. Sooooo instead of trying to name every song and/or artist i listen to in the course of my day to day, I think this time I will just share one playlist.

This is what I listen to at night, or whenever finally get around to winding down from my day. I call it my, "oh what a beautiful/ tragic day that I must now wind down from playlist" or "sweet slumber" for short. Here goes.

Augustana - Sweet and Low
Enya - Carribean Blue
Enigma - Return to Innocence
Death Cab for Cutie - Crooked Teeth
Imogen Heap - Goodnight and Go
Radiohead - Karma Police
Missy Higgins - Where I Stood
Keane - We Might as Well be Strangers
Justin Nozuka - After Tonight
Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand in Mine
Regina Spektor - Better/ The Call
Beirut - Nantes
Mumford & Sons - The Cave / Little Lion Man
Kings of Leon - Milk
Anthony Greene - Miracle Sun
The Hush Sound - You Are the Moon

Now, you may be thinking that not too much of this is really new music. I acknowledge that. Most of these songs have been in and out of your head sometime in the past few years. But sometimes after a long day of new adventures or unneccesary drama you just need something familiar to sink into and bring you back down to earth. Keep it simple, do what you want. Listen to what you love no matter how old, weird, outdated or unpopular and NEVER apologize for it. Now break out that Macarena mixtape and lets do this thing!

Peace, Love and the sweetest of dreams my darlings.

xoxo

Starshine

Tied up to the ground, We're spiralling...

It's St. Valentine's Day my darlings.
Or it was... a few hours ago. Anyways, not the point. As usual it was a pretty bland day at work. Just coffee and bitch-y latte pretention, a mall standard. After work a friend and I went to dinner with some guys from the mall and had a few drinks. I know what you are thinking, but before you get too excited, it was not a date and I was perfectly fine with that. I think having first dates on Valentine's Day is cliche and awkward. There is so much more pressure to make sure that there is a connection and to have someone to go home with and that is definitely not my agenda right now. All in all we had a great time. I got some noms and had a few good drinks. They paid of course (it still wasn't a date, but come on, I only fucks with gentlemen) and it was a perfectly splendid evening.

HOWEVER

For all of you lovelys that were on dates with special someones or potentials, I hope you enjoyed yourselves and that your partners behaved appropriately. Love is a feeling like no other and if you are in it or on your way I applaud you. It's going to get tough, but the reward greatly surpasses the struggle. Think about it this way, Valentine's Day is one of the few non religion based holidays celebrated by the entire world. No matter what your color, race, religion or sex we can all share and live in the warmth of love. So on this international day of love I am sending you all that I have. Be good to yourselves and eachother and just... let it happen.

Peace, Love and Cheesy Romance Songs my darlings!

xoxo
Starshine

Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell on You)

Does ANYONE know this song?!?!?! It's gorgeous and you should all be listening to it RIGHT NOW! Pretty uneventful day. Work, home and more tinkering with my computer ( I need to reaquaint myself with Windows). Skype date later with my darling Matthew. I painted my nails red for the first time in an eternity, but with a name like "I'm Not Really a Waitress", how could I resist!?!

That's all for now. Maybe I'll have more to share after my chat ;)

Peace, Love and Magical Connections my darlings!

xoxo,
Starshine

Melt My Heart to Stone

Right under my feet is air made of bricks

It pulls me down and turns me weak for you

I find myself repeatin' like a broken tune

And I'm forever excusin' your intentions

Then I give in to my pretendings

Which forgive you each time

Without me knowing

They melt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up

You say my name like there could be an us

I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love

I'm the only one in love

Each and every time i turn around to leave

I feel my hear begin to burst and bleed

So desperately I try to link it with my head

But instead i fall back to my knees

As you tear away right through me

I forgive you once again

Without me knowin'

You've burnt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up

You say my name like there could be an us

I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love

I'm the only one in love

Why do you steal my hand

Whenever I'm standin' my own ground?

You build me up then leave me there

Well I hear your words you made up

So I say your name like there should be an us

I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love

I'm the only one in love

It's been a long time, long time now. Since I've seen you smile...

P.S. darlings,
I think a new layout is needed. This one feels so tired.
Let's see what happens.
But first, some noms...

xoxo,

Starshine

Thinking over, the things that you said...

Home sick from work reflecting on the year thus far. Its been pretty uneventful. Work, school and usual backstage antics are a foot as usual but for some reason, it all feels different this time around.

Actually no. It's not just "for some reason", I know exactly why this all feels wrong. Within the past few months, i was proposed to by a man I loved and offered a life any sane person would want. A life filled with security, love and respect. However, after deciding that I needed more time to live like a child I rejected and broke the heart of the only person thus far to really have my best interest in mind. So here I am; going to a school that bores me working towards a degree that is still a complete mystery to me, paying $600 a month to live in the house I grew up in and working a dead end job filled with air of pretention I didn't even know was possible for a coffee shop. I find myself thinking on an almost daily basis how my life would be different right now if i had said yes. Besides the absolutely obvious, what would a day in the life of an engaged me look like? Would I still be living here, or in New York? Or maybe he would've been able to convince me to move into his house in Maine. Would i still be working some stupid job in coffee, or would my new found confidence, the kind of confidence that comes from having the man you love propose to you, inspire me to do something daring in the field I love? I often picture myself in the housewife role, and while i imagine I would want to work for a few years first, I see myself loving all of the responsibilty. Who would I be talking to? Would I still talk to the people I grew up, and surrounded myself with for the whole of my life, or would I only be seen with a more mature, refined crowd closer to my beau's age? Everyday while I go through the motions in my mundane life, I am bombarded with these questions. Questions I am no closer to answering than I was a few months ago because I am still thinking and acting like a stupid child.

I haven't been writting. I haven't been singing. i haven't been drawing, or learning... or expanding. I haven't been doing any of the things I said I needed time to do before settling down. So, in the spirit of being

"the best me I can be"
i'm changing things up, and making a different set of moves for myself. I'd tell you what they were, but I have to keep some things a secret or you will get bored with me and move on to someone younger. I will leave you with this,

One day, I hope he will ask me again.

And when he does, I will jump into his arms

and prepare to live a new life of happiness

that I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams.

I hope that this day not only comes,

but that when it does I am a better,

more confident person

who believes that she is worthy of such

utopia.

Peace, love and the happiest of endings my darlings!

xoxo
Starshine