Today it poured, all day. I was really upset because it was my day off and I had made plans that fell through due to the down pour. So I decided to have a bit of a lazy Thursday. I was up at 8 but didn't really leave my room until 4. Of course I got shit from the parents about it. My dad was more on the concerned end, making sure I was okay and thinking that perhaps I had felt ill and that is why I had been upstairs all day. My mother was undoubtably a different story. She preceded to give me a hard time about how the letter I gave her from the library looked fake and that I needed to get a new one and about my not being back to the library in a while to volunteer. I mean I am fully aware that you want me to volunteer all summer (you've told me just about every day) plus it has only been about 5 days since I was last at the library, and I was working for 4 of them. The main thing that upset me about our little exchange is the face that this is our first interaction of the day, it always is. Is it really any wonder that I avoid her at all times when I am at "home"? Tomorrow we are supposed to have our official family meeting and of course, Robin chooses tonight to stay out all night and not call when she said she was going to home at 10. Knowing my luck, her behavior will come back to somehow bite me in the ass. I am really trying to decide if tomorrow is a good time to tell my parents about my plan to move out. I mean, I know that the conversation is going to turn ugly after the topic of fall plans arises and I declare that I am not going back to school this fall (if ever, even though everyone already knows this). Maybe i won't have to go to the family reunion since I am the failure of the clan and can enjoy those two days by myself. I just want this summer to be over already. I was dreading it before it even started so I am not at all surprised at how things here are turning out. I don't think that it is normal to feel this way about being home after only the first week of summer or that said feeling s would only get worse after a month and a half. The optimist in me says that everything will work out fine, but the realist (which makes up most of my core) says to just give up and start packing.
Mama who bore me,
Mama who gave me,
Mama the angels,
Who made me so sad.
Mama who bore me,
Mama who gave me,
No way to handle things,
who made me so sad.
Mama the weeping,
Mama the angels,
No sleep in heaven or Bethlehem.
Some pray that one day,
Christ will come a calling.
They light a candle,
And hope that it glows.
And some just lie there crying,
For him to come and find them.
But when he comes,
They don't know how to go.
Mama who bore me,
Mama who gave me,
Mama the angels,
Who made me so bad.
Mama the weeping,
Mama the angels,
No sleep in heaven or Bethlehem.
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